There’s something quite alluring about Red Rock. Quietly nestled halfway along Elgin, everything about this place is black. Typical you say? It appeared more squashed than cosy, though we never ventured inside to sit or use the toilets (assuming they have them) to see exactly how small it is. We chose to dine al fresco, on black tables and black chairs, illuminated only by rays of a setting sun.

Initial service was good, as the waitress gladly fetched water for us, laid the table, brought the menus. She had a pleasant disposition, immediately setting us at ease. But after we placed our order it took a heck of a long time for our order to come. A couple of people walked in, stretching her duties even more. I bet a Connex train would have arrived sooner.

The ambience was laid-back, tranquil and peaceful. No noisy foul-mouthed youths, no annoying Ferraris or Porches racing by; and most of all, no customers. It’s like the very life of the restaurant was missing.

Aussie Pizza
tastebudds

First thing that came was our Meat Lovers Pizza ($8.50, $13, $15), which was embedded with pepperoni, chicken, bacon and barbecue sauce. The pan on which it was served was clean and shiny. Smells of sweetened meat and barbecue sauce spread like wildfire. Looks good, smells good, and tastes even better. Meat was well-scattered, cheese was ample and the crust was superb. It looked thick, but then when you bite into it, it’s soft to the touch, while the base still remains crispy. But we don’t advise you to order takeaway pizza since the crust tends to get soggy on the trip back.

Pesto Veal Raviolli
tastebudds

Alas, all good things must come to an end. (so soon right?) Out came Pesto Veal Raviolli, a basil pinenut blended garlic cream sauce with veal raviolli. Shockingly green all over, this dish had me gulping down water as though my bladder had a comparable capacity to that of the Yarra. Too much green puts me off, and the garlic flavours were too much. Someone get me a breath mint.

Pollo Con Avocado, Fettucini
tastebudds

Pollo Con Avocado has chicken, avocado, mushroom, garlic, cream and napoli sauce. Serving size was ample for an entrée, but with quantity there must be quality. The accompanying fettucine did little to mask the taste of dry, overcooked chicken fillets. Marinara Penne was a sneaky little dish. Apparently the chef chose to place all the seafood at the bottom of the dish, all of which were in less-than-bite-sized pieces. The amount of cream sauce looked right, but then the penne itself was just undercooked. So you have to do a fair bit of chewing, not only on the squid bits.

Marinara Penne
tastebudds

Chicken Risotto
tastebudds

Lastly, the Chicken Risotto. What a letdown. It had the colour of baked beans, if that’s appetising for any of you. Most of the time, as critics, we do not judge a pasta dish solely on its appearance. Unfortunately, this was an exception. See for yourself.

On top of a weird taste of chicken, the dish looked like it had just been through someone’s gastrointestinal tract, possibly from a bulimic worker, all sprinkled with cheese on top. Normally we can finish everything on our plates, but seriously, we couldn’t do it this time. Sorry folks.

On the whole the only reason worth making a trip there is for the pizza. Love the topping, and how it’s not over-ridden with cheese. A clean and tasty pizza we say. As for the other dishes, we’re less than adamant about them so proceed at your own peril.

Lesson learnt: A red stone restaurant gathers no customers.

11/20 budds

Red Rock Restaurant
183 Elgin St (perpendicular to Lygon)
Carlton
P 9349 2198